I was over enthusiastically given this worthless piece of paper today (Granted it was for March 8th, 2019) for 20 years lost doing something I really don’t want to be doing. I’ve been involved in all aspects of the arts for over 40 years, ever since I created my own comic at 15. But this award for 20 years of low self esteem that kept me in one department (Digital) for 18 of those years moving up the ladder and then getting my title yanked out from under me but keeping my pay intact, then spending the last two of the 20 in a department (Microfilm) that will no longer exist in a 5 year span and I could either migrate back to digital or pack my bags and find something more fulfilling for work.
I could venture out and do something in the arts. But I’ve tried freelance work and found that I like creating on my own terms, a career in the arts will not bring me satisfaction. 20 years of production has taken a toll (Physically- sedentary and Mentally- I need to be able to communicate) staring at images all day without a say is extremely boring. I tried moving up the ladder in microfilm but the Product Director can’t forgive my stepping down from a leadership position when the company was OCLC despite the fact that I was promoted to a team lead for Backstage.
I need a job of some sort that allows me to speak with another human being in some capacity. So I am looking and it aint easy finding that one job with great pay, benefits and someone who is turning 50 in 3 months.
Tired of being safe & secure.
Part of why I want to go to a nudist resort when I turn 50 is because it’s taking a much needed brave leap into new and unknown territory, much like finding another job and truly living the dream.